Posted by: chptr37 | 04/03/2009

Pg. 2: Utah to… Utah Again


The weather from Ogden to Bryce Canyon. Add sleet, huge trucks and lots of curves. Not mine. The road’s.



  • Miles Today: 340
  • Miles Total: 1056
  • From/To: Ogden, Utah to St. George, Utah
  • Soundtrack: Ludo, “Love Me Dead.”
  • Resting Spot: Wingate (Thank you, Pixie!)
  • Best Thing: Working out at the hotel gym after three days of doing nothing but sitting on my ass.
  • Worst Thing: Driving through the mountain passes in snow flurries with big trucks passing on both sides.
  • Quote of the Day: “I want to call you the great pumpkin in that coat, but I can’t ’cause you is little.”


What wise person said that road trips are always better either in the planning or in the past?

Okay, maybe no one actually said that, but someone should have. Someone should have, ideally before I got the grand idea  that driving across the country in the beginning of April was going to be… fun. Yes, I thought that. Yes, I know it’s too early to complain. After all, it’s only day three. Day two. Something.

Actually, my only complaint today was the weather. First, I don’t like to be in the car (yes, you can say, “duh,” now.) Second, I’m not very good at driving. Third, making your way through Utah in snow, sleet, slush, driving hail, flood-like rains, more snow, more hail, a bit of ice and twenty thousand trucks hauling who-knows-what is not a fun experience. Nor do I think it’s all that safe. Just in case you ever thought about trying it. I know that’s probably right up on the top of your “bucket list,” right after “move to a country where the main food staples are whiskey and haggis.” Or maybe that’s just me. Yeah, it’s probably just me.

The people in Utah so far are … incredibly nice. Like, really nice. The teenage boys are geeky and kind, which is… odd for teenage boys as a general rule, at least from my experience. The teenage girls are often eerily similar looking, as though they’re Stepford wives in training. Straight hair, blonde if they can get away with it, tons of make-up, pushed-up boobs, tight pants, high heels. Their faces look fourteen, but their dress and bodies look like they’re twenty-going-on-wife. They laugh every time they get asked where to get some good coffee, usually pointing to a Starbucks that’s four towns over, and then drop their eyes and their voices. “Um… you’re in Utah, you know.” As if I could possibly forget.

Here is where I have to admit a serious lack of knowledge about all things Mormon (or LDS, as I just found out it’s also called.). But then I don’t know as much as I should about any of the religions. So, while I do have an affinity for HBO’s Big Love, but only because I think everyone needs more than one wife (I, on the other hand, would just like one wife. Ideally one who is modeled after the 50’s style of wifehood so she can clean, cook and make me a drink while I bring home all the money), I’m not sure I can base my understanding of anything on what I learn from TV. So I’ve been asking around, politely, and with the keen interest of the reporter that I used to be. So far, I’ve learned a great deal about the “no caffeine, little to no alcohol and everything’s closed on Sundays” rules that seem to be said, but rarely followed, and very little about anything else. I Wikied the religion and learned what I could of the history and principals, but still haven’t learned who or what the golden man is at the top of all their buildings. (Angel? Prophet? Messiah? Bum off the street? Anyone know?)

Above and beyond my lack of Mormonism knowledge, I am currently a happy girl. Out of the car. Nice hotel room. Worked out. Have Internet and a couch. Food on the way and good pillows on the bed. The car has not been crashed. See? It doesn’t take that much to fill me with delight.

Far and fast, s.


Finally, near Zion National Park, a little sunshine. Or at least a lack of snow.


“Thanks to the Interstate Highway System, it is now possible to travel across the country from coast to coast without seeing anything.” ~Charles Kuralt, On the Road With Charles Kuralt



  1. You’re welcome for the hotel! Can’t let my girl sleep in the car. As far as mormons go, be thankful you’ll be out of that state tomorrow.

    Be careful and I’ll see you soon! *squeezy hugs*

  2. Hey baby! That big shiny golden bad boy is the Angel Moroni. Really. That’s his name. He’s the guy who told that horny old Joe Smith where to find the buried book.

    Can I be your wife? I have a froofy apron and I always clean house in nipple clamps, a pearl necklace & stillettos.

    love miss you!

  3. Mmm haggis. And just wait til you try black pudding! Oh, perhaps I will make a Scottish buffet for you!

    … Maybe that would be cruel.


  4. I was in Utah once, in March a few years ago. Zion and Bryce Canyon are gorgeous. We just did the drive through looksee of them (we were only there for a couple of days).

    So, are you seeing sights along the way or just drivingdrivingdrivingdriving?

    Oh, and love the Charles Kuralt quote.

  5. You have just proven vis-a-vis this blog, that apparently Charles Kuralt never looked out a window. Admittedly, there’s more to see and interact with (Lord, I hate that expression) if you take County Rd. #4 and GET OUT every once in a while, but I have also had some hilarious times in rest stops (not THOSE kind of hilarious times, you filthy person!) along I-95. People are people wherever you find ’em, S.
    Wait, turn here, that road looks interesting!…

  6. I live in the town where Mormonism started, it’s pretty sad, the town kicked out the Mormons so many years ago and now that they have finally started coming back, people are still up in arms about them.

    You know, I find it somewhat funny that thier idea of Mecca is the place where I live… It certainly doesn’t feel holy…

    Keep taking pictures Shanna, keep safe, and keep rested!

  7. Oh, S, read today’s Writer’s Almanac poem!! Or I’ll copy & paste it to you, it’s priceless, and reminds me of what 10,000 people between Portland and NYC will remember one day….

  8. “If it’s worth the going, it’s worth the ride.”
    -Tom Waits (A Little Rain)

    Find a copy of Under the Banner of Heaven by Jon Krakauer. Then go find 6 books about LDS by somebody else. Not because his book isn’t good, but because nobody will ever be able to accuse you of getting your info from pop-history books. Oh, and if you break down, you can burn them for heat. OK, F that, don’t break down.

  9. I thought I posted a little blurb this morning but I must have messed it up.

    I was going to say, fun fact: Mormonism was founded in the place where I am living now.

    Never been to Utah, think I might have flown over it, but I certainly wouldn’t mind at least experiencing the place.

    Keep taking those awesome pictures, stay safe, and stay happy!

  10. Or maybe, just maybe, you hadn’t checked the post yet! =P

  11. Bri: No, no sleeping in the car! Big comfy bed, squeezy pillows. I was happy!

    KM: Yes, please come and be my wife. But you forgot about the calamine lotion!

    Nix: I had to look up black pudding. I don’t know… I’ll try most anything, but you might have to let me stay with you if you want me to try that. Oh, wait…

    Ero: A little of everything. Today was Zion. I’ll post pix soon.

    Thom: Perfect poem. Thank you. And I -am- getting out every once in a while. Mostly to pee… Heh.

    Shawn: Mormonism started in upstate NY? Proof or STFU.

    Russ: Gods, I miss you. You should be on this road trip with me, just like you were on the last one. Big Daddy and the rest of the crew too. Someone else recommended Banner of Heaven. I’ll have to see if I can pick up a copy.

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