Posted by: Shanna Germain | 08/02/2009

Pg. 124: F- Fear

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Afternoon Trail.

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This morning, I faced my fears and tackled a bit of woods. Yes, I know it’s a phobia that I’ve developed, completely irrational and rather ridiculous. I tell myself that, and then I remember just how sick I actually was and how small a creature it was that bit me (not that small, granted, when you consider that bacteria and the like are way smaller and do as much damage), and I shudder and have this little “I’m okay” conversation with myself.

And then I walk right by the woods without going into their dark depths. Today, I jumped. Well, okay, I walked slowly and carefully between the trees, keeping to the path, watching my feet.

The reward was worth the pep talk and the fear — gorgeous filtered light, yellow-green leaves, a few slugs, a dog or two, and view of the ocean through the trees that would have knocked my breath away if it wasn’t already busy dealing with the fear bit.

Yes, this is my life philosophy, as it has been for a long time: Fuck Fear. I mean, really. I’m just not willing to give up on all the good stuff because I’m afraid. Of course, it’s a lesson that I have to keep teaching myself again and again.

Farther and faster, s.

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Trail slug. With his adorable little antennas (antenni?) out.

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“Every time we choose safety, we reinforce fear.” ~Cheri Huber

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Responses

  1. Oh good! You got to see the sun dapple.

    /hugs

    I’d be skittish too honey – that whole Lyme’s ordeal sounded like my worst hangover, that went on for a freaking month.

    Ugh. Just. Ugh.

    On the bright side: I am glad you are better and getting out and about on your walks again in the wilds of the Isle.

    *smooches*

    • Sun dapple… such a gorgeous-sounding phrase!

      I am glad I am better too!!! You rock 🙂

  2. Good for you for facing fear! You are my idol! (Although, I still don’t think I’ll go face any of my fears yet….)

    • Well, I’m facing fear, but I doubt I’m facing-off with it yet. I’ll get there eventually. We all will!


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