Posted by: Shanna Germain | 10/12/2009

Pg. 173: Bad to the Bone. Or Crust.

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Why is it that things which are bad for you must always look so damn good? Here, homemade pizza has just enough cheesy, meaty, doughy badness to make you drool — and clog an artery. I ate some anyway.

*

One of the movies that I never watched — even though friends kept telling me that I should, even though I knew I would enjoy it in that appalled and horrified way that is the proper reaction to most good documentaries, even though I was interested in the subject — was Super Size Me. I’d describe it, but something tells me that the majority of the world has already seen it and is on to pondering other things, like Obama’s new Peace Prize and their strawberry cow on Farmville (and, oh gods, can you tell I’m back in the U.S., with access from everything from the Internet and Netflix to the New York Times and Rolling Stone?).

Point. I’ll get back to it eventually. Or, rather right about now. So I saw that YouTube has started doing movies, and when I realized that Super Size Me was one of their movie options (along with, oddly enough, Cutter, which I actually could not stop watching. I have no idea why, considering it’s a movie about… uh…. mowing the lawn ala Best In Show.), I decided I would watch it. (Also, another note: I just opened up YouTube to get the link for Cutter, and what should be across the top, but a banner ad for Wendy’s Fast Food. Go figure.).

Yes, I am the Queen of Segues today. You may call me Queenie.

Back to what’s bad for me. Fast food is, apparently, very bad for me. I knew this already and have mostly boycotted fast food places ever since my first semester of college, when I wrote a paper on how McDonald’s was killing the rainforest (raising cheap cows + cutting down trees for grazing land = buh buh rainforest. yes, this was the whole extent of my paper. What do you want? I wrote it at two in the morning.). Not walking is bad for me. I knew this too.

But the movie got me thinking about what else I do that’s bad for me. How would it affect me if I gave them all up for a month? (Because I’m not about to imbibe in them solely for a month). And, it got me thinking about education and fault, since much of the movie asks: Whose fault is it that we’re fat? Ours? Our parents? The companies? Can you sue a company for offering something that you want? Can you sue them if they target toward children? I mean, really, Facebook is making me fat. Don’t I get some kind of monetary compensation here?

But in truth, I’m a smart, educated, aware person. And yet, I do things that are bad for me. Things that I KNOW are bad for me. My fault? I have to say, “Hell yes!” If I have all the facts and I do something anyway, then I am the only one that can be held responsible (Okay, not the only one, but I do think that most of the onus falls directly into my lap — or my stomach, as the case may be).

My list of things that I know are bad for me, but which I do anyway:

  • Sitting on my butt for a job. I love writing, but I was a much healthier creature when I was tending bar. Okay, maybe not healthier — second-hand smoke – odd hours – strangers grabbing my ass + all the walking I was doing = high stress levels + bad lungs + really great legs.
  • Guilt. See the rest of this list.
  • Internet surfing. What a gloriously bad waste of precious time.
  • Caffeine. I love my coffee and the occasional glass of diet soda (ack! ack! chemicals).
  • Dairy. I gave up dairy once, to see if it would help my rosacea. It did, but it also made me an insane person, the kind who would call friends up and say, “Hi! I would kill you for a cookie! Or ice cream! Oh my god, I would kill the whole world for a lick of Ben & Jerry’s Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough ice cream!”
  • Dairy+. Ever notice how dairy goes best with things that are bad for you? Sour cream on nachos. Cheese on pizza. Ice cream on, well, anything and everything.
  • Meat. Oh my god, I love me some meat. Especially, dare I say it?, pork. Mmm… pork. (Notice I started this blog at 5 pm, and you’re not seeing it until now? That’s because in the act of writing pork, I remembered that there was said pork in the fridge, marinated in Jack Daniel’s sauce, and I went off to cook it and eat it. And now my fingers are sticky on the keys and my teeth are full of whiskey-flavored meat.)

Things I’ve given up that were bad for me:

  • Smoking. And breathing second-hand smoke.
  • Most drinking.
  • Stress. How can you give up stress, you ask? Well, obviously, you can’t. But I’m working on making my life as stress-free as possible. As one of my favorite people says, “Is it a little rock or a big rock in the rock-filled jar of life? Because you only get to stress if it’s a big rock.” (Only she says it much more articulately that I just did.).
  • Venomous people. They are gone, buh buh. Just like Micky Dee’s rainforests.
  • Watching TV. See: Internet.

Now, on to the important list. The things I do right now, at this very moment, day-to-day that are good for me:

  • Morning cocktail: multi-vitamin + good bacteria + cranberry pills.
  • Orgasms. Oh, yes, these are so so so very good for you. Trust me. I’m not a doctor, but I play one on the Internet.
  • Walking for pleasure.
  • Writing. It’s good for me. I can’t explain it.
  • Floss.
  • Fruit and veggies. Nom nom nom.
  • Talk to friends, really really talk to friends and tell them that I care about them. Hokey? Yes. Good for me (and for them)? Hellz yes.

And you? What do you do that’s good, bad or ugly? Surely I can’t be the only one who’s beating up my body and mind, even though I know better.

Far and fast, s.

*

“I think the saturated fats are cutting off the blood flow to his penis.” ~Morgan Spurlock’s girlfriend, as quoted in Super Size Me.

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Responses

  1. Hi Quieenie! Great topic, love the show!! (sorry, spent too much time trapped in the SO’s car listening to talk radio)

    I gave up:

    Smoking

    2% (for soy but not for cooking yet)

    Drinking booze to excess (you know where you end up making deals with god if he/she will just PLEASE let you survive this hangover you’ll never, ever, EVER drink that much again – only to start begging him/her to put you out of your misery and then retracting everything once the ibuprophen and water start doing their thing and you suddenly make a miraculous recovery JUST in time to go out with your friends bar hopping!)

    Mean people (icky thinkers, back stabbers, assholes in general and anyone who gets off on putting other down. I am learning to pay attention to warning bells and sirens and finding the nearest exit)

    I play with paint, inks, glitter, glue and all sorts of mediums (currently I am learning how to knit and crochet and dabbling with sewing) and am repurposing a lot of things in my art.

    I still don’t eat as well as I could (better than I was but still room for improvement). I don’t get regular exercise. I still swear like a sailor and/or truck driver, depending on how you view either. I sit in front of the computer WAY too much between my job and home, but I’m working on that 🙂

    xoxo

    • Oh hell… the drinking thing made me laugh! I have that conversation every time I get food poisoning too (four times, plus one bout of e. coli and counting). “I’ll never eat xyz again!” Doesn’t work.

      Swearing is good, good, good for you, I’ve decided!

  2. Oh thank you sooo much. My “get up early and get stuff done” morning just got turned into a “sit her for an hour and a half watching Cutter” morning. You’re lucky it ended up being an awesome movie 🙂 I was really worried when Glemmy’s note blew away. And that mall contract… woo wee!

    Anyways yea, back to your point. I have found more success with small changes to improve my quality of life/health than with huge sweeping change. Take the stairs, park further away, no mayo on that thanks, sit around and watch it rain for no reason, waste no time on fools, blah blah, etc. Stack up enough tiny “do the right things” and I don’t even notice that I’m doing better.

    I like your morning cocktail. Mine is a V8 and a Flintstone vitamin – never the purple ones though. Except on weekends, I have cereal because I love it.

    • LOL, Shawn, that cracked me up! I win! The movie is oddly captivating, isn’t it?

      I love “sit around and watch it rain for no reason” — that’s an awesome one.

      V8. -gags- Can’t do it! 😦 Even though I know it’s good for me.


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